Yismach Uses Today’s Tools to Reinforce the Old-Fashioned Time Tested Shidduch System
Yismach was launched to perpetuate the old fashioned, well established shidduch system.
Yismach was created as an aid to the established, recognized shadchanim who meet people and jot relevant information on handwritten notes. In order for information to be up-to-date, rather than shadchanim inputting the information, those in shidduchim were asked to provide their shidduch information and to keep their information up to date. To help them zoom in better, they have search filters and a record keeping system so that they need not rely on memory alone to recall who they thought may be a good fit. They also have a private scratch pad where each shadchan could keep their private notes.
To make it even easier, we made it possible for the shadchan to make the suggestion within the site where the suggestion went from their email address directly to the individual and this suggestion was automatically logged so that the shadchan could see who said yes, who said no, and who had not yet decided and so that they can see who they had previously suggested and who among those agreed to date.
Another way we make the shadchan’s job more efficient, is in setting up the dates, confirming them, and keeping accurate records. Shadchan enters the date in the system which then is automatically recorded in that shadchan’s records and emails go out from that shadchan’s email to both sides confirming the date, including the details of where and when.
We made a phone app for American shadchanim who do not use a computer and do all their work from their phone. Using the phone app for both Android, such as Samsung Galaxy, as well as for I-Phones, people can sign up and keep their information current and shadchanim can review information and make suggestions directly from their phone.
Israeli shadchanim asked that we make a separate Yismach system for Israelis and Israeli shadchanim, so we launched a Hebrew site, www.yismach.co.il.
It became salient that many shadchanim and those in shidduchim were clueless as to halochos such as what they or references are allowed to ask, how they and a reference are allowed to convey information and what are the boundaries of information presented. So, we distilled the salient points from a shiur from Rav Ganz, Rosh Yeshiva of Kol Torah. There were issues of payment of shadchanus (shadchan fee) so we posted the links to seven shiurim from Rav Spitz who reviewed the issue, quoting his sources. We researched and distilled halochos linked to the written source and put that in on the site as a resource.
We found that those in shidduchim needed encouragement and guidance, so we posted some of the most dramatic shidduch stories we found and we researched some of the common pitfalls and provided a Stories and Advice section. In addition to these, we compiled original sources of Rabbinic literature referring to marriage relationships and gender roles to provide an anchor to many who are set adrift in a sea of un-Jewish and oft times anti-Jewish material which erroneously (mis)guides dating coaches and others who (mis)guided them.
Yismach connects you to shadchanim. When you sign up on Yismach you have the option of letting all the shadchanim to see your information or limiting it to certain shadchanim. As shadchanim do not want to be getting hundreds of calls or thousands of emails, we kept it one way where the shadchanim can see your information and it is up to them to contact you if they want to work on your shidduch. We run periodic meet the shadchanim parties where you have an opportunity to meet a number of shadchanim face to face briefly to start to get to know each other, in a light party atmosphere with great food and drink. We added a dialogue box where you can have a private exchange which other shadchanim do not see.
Yismach permits only the recognized current established shadchanim who do not take money for interviews to have access to the site. By Jewish law, at your engagement you pay the shadchan. The shadchan keeps the full amount of the well-deserved shadchan fee. As we have no outside funding, in order to cover our costs, we ask for a one-time $54 activation fee. As soon as you activate by paying the one-time fee, the other shadchanim see your information. We guarantee that each one of the 180 shadchanim, or the specific shadchanim you select, CAN open your profile and CAN send your shidduch resume to a potential match, but we do not guarantee that they WILL or WOULD. WE DO NOT police shadchanim. We do not mandate that shadchanim work a certain amount of time and make a certain number of suggestions. Each is independent and has access to the updated information of thousands of individuals in shidduchim. No shadchanim work exclusively for Yismach. Rather your information is accessible to any shadchan which is recognized by their community as a shadchan and who has earned. by their track record, the trust of the community and who get paid the fee in accordance with Jewish law upon your engagement.
It is advisable to periodically remind those shadchanim that you have met that you are available. When you are not available, please indicate on your profile that you are busy so that shadchanim do not make suggestions and your references are not unnecessarily contacted. To meet other shadchanim either reach out to the known shadchanim in your area or come to the periodic Yismach Meet the Shadchanim Parties.
As religious Jews, we appreciate the power of tefilla, and named each one on Yismach in the tefilla for shidduchim by the Chida (for males) and the Shelah (for females). Tefillos were said at the kever of the Chida during the nine minutes where tefillos were particularly attended to, during Zos Chanuka where those decrees sealed on Hoshana Raba can be overturned and at the yahrtzeit of Yonoson ben Uziel we went to Amuka and davened for every single one of you, naming each of you. Last Lag B’Omer at the the Kever of Shimon Hatzadik, right in front of the kever, we davened for each of you by name. Also at the Kever of Shmuel Hanavi on Tu B’Av we davened for each of you. At Kever Rochel we shed our own tears as we davened for each and every one in Yismach. There was also davening by Kivrei Tzadikim around the world! By the Kevarim of the Vilna Gaon, Rav Chaim Ozer, Rav Itzele Ponovitzer, Rav Chaim Meveloshin, Chofetz Chaim, Rav Naftali Trup, Rav Yerucham Lebovitz, and more!
We daven for you to find the right one at the right time, and that the right time should be sooner.
In short, we help old fashioned shadchanim work efficiently using today’s tools and technology without any attempt to change the time-tested age-old customs in shidduchim. Yismach is not a computer dating site masquerading as other sites do as shidduchim. Yismach is a way to get your up-to-date information to numerous shadchanim in order to expedite shidduchim while strictly adhering to Jewish law and centuries old Jewish custom.