It is Only with the Heart that One Sees Rightly

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Use your head to narrow down the possibilities, use your heart to recognize your one and only. The Torah recognizes the schism between the logic of the brain and wisdom of the heart which is deemed preeminent. To illustrate the wisdom of the heart, let’s get to the heart of the matter. Let’s talk in

Mindfulness Causes Lovelessness

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Mindfulness has today become sacrosanct. This newfound dogma of mindfulness has become an axiomatic self-evident truth. It is neither self-evident nor an absolute truth. When it comes to falling in love, mindfulness is the problem, not the solution. Mindfulness is antithetical to love. Sigmund Freud had a patient who after years of psychoanalysis handed Sigmund

The Hand of Hashem is in Every Shidduch

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A Roman matron asked Rabbi Yossi ben Halfafta: And how many days did God create his world? He said to her, in six days, as it is written, “for in six days God made the heavens and the earth.” And from that time, what has kept him busy? He said to her, he sits and

What’s in a Name? Who you are compatible with!

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The Torah tells us that Adam named all the animals. The Torah tells us that names were changed; Avrom to Avroham, Sari to Sarah, Yaakov to Yisroel. The Torah tells us what the Avos named their children and why. In one case, it was Hashem who selected the name, Yitzchok. Today, it is not until

Protocols of Shidduchim

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We live our lives distorting reality, at least to some extent, to the way we want it to be, not the way it is. Nowhere is this more salient, as in shidduchim. Shidduchim has its own protocols – usual and customary practice – which does not change because that’s the way you want it to

Negative Information that a Reference May, May Not, or Must Reveal

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Rabbi Yisrael Gans, Rosh Yeshiva of Kol Torah, explains what a reference is permitted to say, is prohibited to say, or is obligated to say. When calling references, Yismach urges you to limit your questions and structure them according to the parameters delineated in this Shiur of Rabbi Yisrael Gans, Rosh Yeshiva of Kol Torah.

Shadchanus Gelt

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At the engagement, the shadchan gets paid. Not so simple. Rav Spitz explains the many halochos: Who is Entitled to Shadchan Fees? Any person who makes a shidduch for someone else, whether it is a professional Shadchan or a friend, is entitled to a shadchan fee. This includes making a shidduch for relatives. If a

America’s Secret War Against Marriage

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ANTI-MARRIAGE MANIFESTO The famous 19th century socialist Robert Owen included the family, along with marriage and private property, in his ‘triumvirate of evil’, which, he asserted, has ‘cursed the world ever since the creation of man’.  Gloria Steinem, the famous celebrity feminist, once declared, ‘We have to abolish and reform the institution of marriage…By the

Rav Zilberstein on an Unbelievable Shidduch Dilemma

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At his engagement, the boy is told that his future bride is a convert from Poland whose family was originally from Germany. Not just that, but during the war her grandfather was the head of the Gestapo in Poland. Not just that, but he personally killed the boys grandmother. What to do?